Five Minute Friday: On Friends

It's time again for Five Minute Friday.  Where we just write without worrying if it's perfect.  Please click over to The Gypsy Mama for the rules and join in!

Today's Prompt is: On friends...


Friends.  I literally don't know what I would do without them.  When I went through the divorce, my friends were my lifesavers since my family was so far away.  They who were willing to sit up with my while I poured out my heart and my tears on them until all hours of the morning.  They watched my kids so I could work, or just cry.  They brought me dinner and came to check on me everyday.  They came out of their comfort zones to make sure I was OK and let me know they were there for me.  They called me or texted me constantly.  They gave me advice and hope and a shoulder to cry on when I had none.  I can never repay them for what they did for me.

"Friends are the family you chose" is a quote I often like to use.  They are the people you can not speak to for ages and when you get together it's just like you were never apart.  They are the people you can depend on to support your decisions and call you out on your crap.  The people who can tease you about your faults and you know they aren't judging you.

Friends aren't tied to you by blood (well not always), they are tied to you by a genuine love and care for you and an interest to continue the relationship.  How beautiful is that?  Your friends, your true friends, are in your life because they love you and they want to be around you.  How many people on earth can you truly say that about?

I'm so grateful for all my friends, the ones who have been around since childhood all the way through to the ones I just met.  I know you are all in my life for a reason.  I cherish you and I am so grateful for your friendship!


I have also met many wonderful friends over the Internet through blogging.  Their love and support has held me up in many times of trial.  If you read this blog, please take a moment to introduce yourself to me and everyone else.  I would love to get to know you better.  Or, just tell me your favorite things about your friends!


Today is my sister's birthday.  As a tribute to her, and a sort-of present since she knows I'm hopeless at them, I decided to make her the star of my post today.  Meet Danielle...or Nell as I call her.  That guy?  Her wonderful hubby, Chad.  They are a couple of my favorite people on the planet.  Nell is an extremely hardworking, hilarious, beautiful, kid at heart.  She is an amazing sister and a wonderful Aunt to my kids.  She is my best friend.  I truly don't know what my life would have been like without her. 

We grew up very close in age (only 21 months apart) and we spent almost our entire lives doing things together- whether we liked it or not.  As young children we got along fairly well.  We played barbies and dress up and spent endless hours outside on bikes, our swingset and the playhouse my grandpa built us.  It was when I started school and made my own friends that we had trouble getting along.  I remember endless fighting with her in those years.  Thinking that I just wanted to have time to myself with my friends and without her.  If only I had known how close we would eventually become. 

As we eased into being teenagers, we finally figured out that we got along really well.  A lot of our friends were mutual and we could make each other laugh.  In high school, we became the best of friends.  Spending hours upon hours with each other doing band and spending time with our friends.  We shared clothes (not always nicely), boy issues and excitements, talked through frustrations and problems, laughed and joked and hugged our way through those years.  We were nearly inseparable.

Then I went to college, got married and moved 2,000 miles away.  In those years she really paved her own path, deciding what she wanted to do in life and going for it.  Our lives were busy, and we didn't talk as much as we should have.  But every time we were together, it was as easy as it always was.  We are two of a an opposite sort of way.

When I moved closer, things got easier, we talked more, and our lives started to line up a little better once she married her high school sweetheart.  Nearly a year later, I had a baby and Nell became an Aunt for the first time.  I have never loved my sister more than I did the first time she held Zoe and then Paige.  To see the love she had for my children clearly displayed in her eyes was the most beautiful thing.  Zoe and Paige absolutely love their Aunt Nell.  They are super close. 

Nell was always better with kids and had a general love for them that I never had.  She is the kid at heart that I will never be.  I learn a lot from her about mothering as I watch her love and play with my girls when we are around.  She never hesitates to jump in and help me with them when she can.  I can't wait to watch her mother her own child- who will grace us in just a few short months.

On her birthday, I want her to know that while she suffered from "second child syndrome", it was actually me who looked up to her for the athleticism I never had, for her outgoing and addictive personality, for never being afraid to be herself.  I'm grateful to her for everything she has done for me in the past few years.  She has bailed me out numerous times and in more ways than one.  I am grateful for her constant support and trust in the decisions I make for my life.  I am grateful for the love that she has for my husband and my girls.  Most importantly, I am thankful for the love she has for me, for being by my side all these years, for being my best friend and the most amazing sister a girl could ask for.  Happy Birthday, Nell.  I love you!

Aren't siblings awesome?  I love mine!  I have four more amazing siblings, as well as their spouses and Matt's siblings and spouses.  Don't know what I would do without them!  Tell me about yours!

Five Minute Friday: Growing

It's time again to write for five minutes flat, without worrying if it's perfect or not.  No editing.  Just the written word in it's purest form.  Won't you join in?  Just click over to The Gypsy Mama for the full rules and to link up.

Today's prompt: Growing


At 28 years old I finally feel like I'm growing.  Not the kind of growing that requires gaining weight and height and childhood milestones.  Instead, I am hitting milestones I've created.  Making goals and working to achieve them.  Growing out of that teenage/young adult selfishness and learning to look inside myself and see what I can improve.  Instead of looking at others and seeing what they can improve.

I'm learning that life is not about perfection.  That "perfect" is actually a disease when you really think about it.  That being less perfect, or rather putting on a less perfect show, actually makes people more comfortable with me than they ever were when they worried about spills on my carpet.  After two kids worth of spills, what's one more?  Who would have thought I would ever say that?

I'm learning that I can't do everything.  I will perhaps never have a perfectly clean house, or always get all the dishes and laundry done.  Learning that nothing I hope for will happen unless I put my mind to it.  Growing up in the most wonderful adult ways.  Suffering sometimes because growing up is hard.

Growing into someone who deserves to have a great husband and two beautiful girls.  Someone who shows her girls that it's important to care for yourself while you care for everyone else.  Someone who makes mistakes and tries to fix them.  Someone who is willing to work at relationships, work for a fit body, work to achieve her dreams. 

It is never too late to do some growing.  Everyone has potential for growth.  I believe that is why we are here.  Not just to grow up or grow old.  But simply to grow.


What does "growing" mean to you?  What are you doing to grow?  Please leave a comment.

Negative Voices

In the early morning hours, when all I hear is silence except for the keyboard clicking away under my fingers as I work, I think.  I think of all I have to do as the day progresses.  Feed my kids, play with them, clean something or other, tick off my to do list.  I worry about the little and big things going and family having troubles...why I always feel overwhelmed.  I think of the things I'm working on in my marriage, spiritually, as a Mother.  And wonder if I'm putting forth enough effort towards those changes.  I think of all I want to accomplish in my life.  Go back to school, put out more videos of me singing, write more poetry, get back to my music, get in shape. 

My life is a whirlwind, and my thoughts are much the same.  Always spinning around, never stopping for a break.  I find it difficult to have moments of silence, moments of peace because there is always something more to think of, something more to do.  Sometimes I feel I am putting too much on myself as a young, working Mother.  After all, I have two young children, a job, a house to take care of, a husband to love, as well as many other responsibilities.  With this thought comes the fear that I'm just making excuses.  It's crazy-making.

Lately, I have been putting most of my energy into my goal of getting into better shape.  I regularly exercise and watch what I eat.  I am proud of my accomplishments and continued motivation in this endeavor.  I truly am.  Many years have I been ashamed of my body and what I let it come to, which was then aided by two pregnancies.  Many years have I talked the talk of fixing this problem and never done anything about it.  So I am very proud of myself in this area. 

Then why is it that I still feel a sense of laziness, or maybe just a sense of guilt that, because I am focusing on this one thing as my priority, everything else has to wait for now?  Or at least be accomplished more slowly? 

I wish I could get rid of that feeling.  I wonder if it is there hoping I will fail at this one thing so I won't try to prioritize new things when I'm done.  So that I will remain at a standstill?  I have tried doing everything I want to accomplish all at once.  It doesn't work.  At all.  I have learned that if I spread myself too thin, what I accomplish will be done poorly, procrastinated, or not at all.

So, I will continue to take one step, one day at a time, focusing on this goal.  I will continue to do what I can on the rest of my to do list.  I will do that because it feels right to me.

I just wish sometimes I could ignore the negative voices in my head.

How do you tackle goals?  Do you have worries similar to mine?  Please leave me a comment.  I LOVE COMMENTS!  Ahem...the end.

Five Minute Friday: Joy

It's time for Five Minute Friday! Click over to The Gypsy Mama for instructions if you would like to participate! (You totally should!)

Today's prompt is: Joy...


As a Mom of young children, I find my joy in spurts. It's in feeling accomplished because I got my workout in. It's the fact that I got to shower and dress AND put on make-up that day. It's an unexpected hug. It's, "I love you soooooo much, Mom." It's repetitive, open-mouthed baby kisses. It's snuggling on the couch reading books. It's listening to my girls singing and dancing to Michael Jackson. It's noticing Zoe reciting books from memory. It's Paige "talking" and trying so hard to communicate. It's a few moments alone and a good conversation with Matt. It's date night. It's, "I cleaned up my room all by myself, Mom!" It's that whole night of uninterrupted sleep. It's praying with my husband at night and having him be thankful for our marriage and for parenthood. It's feeling comfort from my Heavenly Father on hard days. It's finding a moment to breathe, to think, to read scriptures, to reflect. It's realizing all the blessings that I have.

My joy is large and full, but broken up into tiny moments mixed in between frustrations, temper tantrums, difficulties, and day-to-day mundane tasks. Sometimes it's hard to feel joyful all day long. But when I add up the moments, I find I am truly happy.

What is "Joy" to you?  How do you find joy in your life?  Please leave me a comment.  If you haven't already, I would love it if you found a way to follow me!  Have a wonderful weekend!

Our Beginnings Part Three

This is the third and final installment of our beginnings and the end of "Blast From The Past" week (for now). You'll want to read part one and part two if you haven't already!  This post was originally published on the old blog on June 10, 2007

Once Matt graduated AIT, we packed up our things and made the long drive back to New Mexico. We were allotted 4 weeks to go home, pack up all of our belongings (most of which we left in Matt's Parents' garage), and spend a little time with family before heading to North Carolina- where we were to be stationed.

While we were in Virginia, my Mom had spearheaded all plans for our reception. See, only a few people from our family were able to attend our ceremony with two days notice, so we decided to go ahead and have a reception as soon as Love was done with training. So, we arrived in New Mexico a few days before the reception. It was a whirlwind of dress fittings and last minute plans. My mom was pregnant at the time and, unfortunately, lost the baby right before my reception. It was very hard for her and for all of us, but invitations were out and plans were drawn. So, we took over.

Luckily, my mom being the organizer she is, had everything drawn out, where the decorations were to be placed, she had people doing food and everything was set. When the day arrived, I took my sisters to get our nails, hair, and make-up done. We went to the church to help set up and get last minute things going. Then I went and got into my dress and the party started. It was a wonderful day and, even though I missed out on the bridal showers and bachelorette parties, it seemed so worth it.

We stayed for a few more weeks, then packed up and made our third trek across the country to Fort Bragg, North Carolina. We arrived there nearly poor, living off credit cards, and ready to settle into our new house on base and really start our lives together. Unfortunately, we arrived at a busy time and they wouldn't have a house for us for two months. They would allow us to stay on post in a hotel for a short time, but we would have to pay up front and they would reimburse us. This was the way of the army.

CollageThankfully, Matt's best friend in AIT already had a house and an extra room they offered until our house was ready. We gratefully took them up on their offer and moved in. The next couple of months were hard as tensions rose. It's hard to cram two newlyweds into one small house and work out meals. Soon, it was all over, though, and we got into our cute little townhouse.

Everything was going fine, I found a job working part-time and Matt was doing well at his job. We'd made some friends and things were working. Then things went down hill and Matt ended up being honorably discharged from the Army. We were promised it would be anywhere from a week to a month. So we put our lives on hold, I told my boss and we waited. And waited. Seven months later, after much arguing, tears, heartache, and a very angry visit I made to his First Sergeant, we were released.

It was a long and troublesome fourth trip cross-country that included several U-haul breakdowns (don't ever use them!!!), a few crappy hotels, and our dog, Daisy and her two puppies Bella and Jack:

Collage_2After a stop off in NM to get the U-haul fixed (twice), we finally reached our new home, Salt Lake City, UT. Love's sister and brother-in-law were kind enough to let us stay with them (making the fourth family we'd lived with during our short 1.5 year marriage) until we could find jobs, a place to live, and get back on our feet. We did and we've been doing great to this day!

So that is our story, at least the short(er) version.

So did you like or hate me reposting old stuff?  Leave me a comment and let me know!

Our Beginnings Part Two

Part of a "Blast From the Past" series...part two of our story.  You'll want to read Part One first. This post was originally published on the old blog on June 3, 2007 and can be found in the archives.

On February 8th, 2004, after spending a month and a half working, planning, and missing Matt. I set off, by myself, on the cross country drive from Albuquerque, NM to Jackson, SC to see him graduate basic training- after which we were supposed to get him settled in Richmond, VA and I would continue on to stay with Matt's Aunt and Uncle in Springfield, VA for the duration of his AIT (secondary training).

It took me four days as my family, and Matt, didn't want me driving after dark or for too long each day. I made my first stop in Dallas, TX, where a nice LDS couple (strangers) let me stay with them for the night. They fed me grilled cheese and tomato soup. The following day I stopped in Jackson, MS and stayed in a hotel with damp sheets. The third day I stayed in Atlanta, GA with a friend of Matt's Dad. He had a bubbly child and fed me pot stickers- which I had never tried before and now love.   All were very kind.

The next day I waited for his parents to fly in from Atlanta, GA. I found them at the airport and followed them the short 3 hour drive to our hotel in South Carolina. I listened to a radio broadcast of a TV show...the name escapes me. It was my first cross country trip and the longest drive I had ever made. Thinking back over the course of my trip, I listened, and sang along at the top of my lungs, to every CD I owned- twice- saw advertisements in french in Louisiana, the wide Mississippi River, and a city called Newton...while I was eating fig newtons.

Matt's parents and I arrived in South Carolina, checked into our shared hotel room and fell promptly into bed. The next morning we arose, I was so excited to see him I could barely sit still. We arrived on base and went searching for Matt. His drill sergeants were running them through a graduation practice. We would see them soon. Unfortunately, someone broke formation to talk to a family member. They were chastised and forced to drop and do push-ups, in front of their family, causing us to wait longer. Finally, they were released to spend time with us. I wanted so badly to embrace him, but couldn't because he was in uniform and it wasn't allowed.

We were allotted a few hours to spend talking with him in the gym. It was wonderful to see him, but so dictated and very difficult. After what seemed like minutes, we had to go. The night was restless. Morning came and we prepared for his graduation. It was cold and overcast. We sat in the bleachers and watched the ceremony. I remember feeling so proud of all he'd accomplished so far...and waiting impatiently for it to be over so I could see him.

After graduation the soldiers were released for the night. Once we got in the car and got off base, we were finally permitted to embrace, it was the best hug ever. We went back to the hotel where Matt's parents left to give us some "alone time." Afterwards, we all went to Texas Roadhouse and ate a big meal. Then we took Matt back where he would sleep, then catch the bus with all the soldiers headed to Richmond.

The next morning, Matt's parents left early to catch their flight home. I slept in a little, checked out of the hotel, and was on my way to Virginia. When I arrived at Fort Lee, I didn't know where Matt was, or where I could find him so we could spend our weekend together before I headed to Springfield. It was Valentine's Day. He had called me once from his bus, but I hadn't heard from him since. I parked in a hotel parking lot on base and waited- for hours. Finally, I decided to try and find his company.

I drove all over base looking for company L. I finally located the company and walked in to try and find him, and find out what was going on. I was upset, I walked in a talked to someone at the front desk and they went and found Matt for me. (They had to pull him out of a meeting.) They let him take me outside, my bawling was distracting the other soldiers, and explain the situation. I wasn't allowed to touch him except just hold his hand.

I was frustrated and lost in a strange new place and had been alone for hours. I was angry and crying and wanted to know why he hadn't been released to spend the weekend with me as I thought. It turned out, there was a miscommunication between bases. Fort Jackson said we would get time with our soldiers, Fort Lee wanted the weekend to get the new soldiers ready to begin training on Monday. I was sobbing, Matt was helpless, then they forced him to go inside. I told him I'd stay in a hotel just off base and leave the next morning to Springfield. I cried all night.

The next morning I made the short two hour drive to Springfield and entered the houseful of strangers I would spend the next few months with. I am not very good at meeting new people. I am very shy and put up a wall until I get to know people better. I spent the day unpacking with tears streaming down my face. They were kind enough to leave me alone.  Matt was supposed to get a pass every weekend to go off base and do whatever he wished. He didn't get that for two weeks.

When the time finally came, I got up early and drove down to Fort Lee to see him. We stayed in a hotel on post and acted like we hadn't seen each other in years. Best two days of my life up to that point. After the shortest time ever, I said goodbye again and headed back to Springfield. After a while we decided it would be better to drive back to Springfield each Saturday and spend our time there.

This was our schedule: I got up, got ready, drove two hours to pick him up, he drove two hours back, we spent about 24 hours together, practicing the privileges of being married, eating out, going shopping, and exploring Springfield. Then we'd leave at around 1pm on Sundays to make sure he got back by his 4 pm curfew. I would drive home alone. Traffic was evil and I was often late picking him up or late getting back on Sunday. Some days they held them late on Saturdays and I would be left anxiously waiting for them to get out. Our lives were dictated, our 24 hours passed quickly, we said goodbye too many times.

During the week I worked as a teacher for the two-year-old class at a day care center. I would go tanning, draw, read, whatever I could to to keep myself occupied until Matt could call me. He called me every night...except a couple. I never knew when he would call, my phone was my constant companion.  His extended family was wonderful to me and I befriended his cousin's (then) wife, who really helped me get through those days.

It seemed there were to be many roadblocks placed by the army. A few weeks into AIT training- Matt was training to become a parachute rigger, or someone who packs, repairs, and jumps with parachutes- he was supposed to go to Fort Benning for Jump School. (To learn HOW to jump from planes.) It was postponed 3 weeks...meaning we'd have to stay three weeks longer. When he went to jump school, I flew home to see my family. The nights he was supposed to jump, I didn't sleep. I waited for his call to tell me he was OK.

When he got out of Jump School, I went back. I saw him that weekend. The pattern continued. Luckily, I found out my best friend, Allison, was in Virginia. I was excited, I hadn't seen her in four years! She really helped me get through those last six weeks, and I helped her with a few things too. It was amazing to see her and have someone I knew and loved around during the week. It was hard to leave her when it was all over, but I was also overjoyed to be done with being away from Matt.

This story has gotten too long. I'll finish it tomorrow!

Check back tomorrow for the final installment!

Our Beginnings Part One

(Since I'm moving posts over I thought it would be fun to do a sort of "Blast from the Past."  This is a three-part overview of how we met and our early years.  I have edited out some infertility content.  The full original post can be found in the archives.  This was originally posted on June 1, 2007.)

Matt is going on an overnight camping/ paint ball trip with family and friends (just the boys) and I am left home. It's funny how much you miss your hubby when he's not at home. I took him to work this morning and felt a little sad knowing I wouldn't see him until tomorrow afternoon. It seems a little silly because we've been apart for longer periods than that, but I did, just the same. In fact, now that I think about it, we've been apart a lot in our 3 1/2 year marriage.

We met in August 2003- and when I say met, I mean started dating, as we were friends for quite a long time before. (Actually, he dated my sister for a brief 2 months in high school, but that's another story.) I was working as a server for Red Robin at the time and he and his family came in to eat.  I recognized him and gave him a big hug. I took their table, even though it wasn't one of mine and got their food. 
After everyone left, Matt came strolling back in saying he'd lost his car key. So, I started to help him look for it. After looking for a while, I asked if he'd looked in his car. He said he'd looked all over inside (funny because it was a Jetta and you can't get into it without the key because it locks on its own- but I didn't know that at the time). Finally, he went back out and "looked" and came back shortly, key in hand. Apparently, it took him all this time to summon the courage to ask me out. I told him "yes". That was the beginning.

After dating for about 2 months, we were engaged, here in Salt Lake City, in front of the Salt Lake Temple. We planned to get married in June 2004. In November, he went off to Jackson, SC for basic training for the Army (our first separation). I was living with his parents at the time (moved there when a gas line broke at my apartments and we didn't have heat or hot water for two months...and they still wanted full rent). He was gone for 4-5 weeks and we wrote each other letters and cried a lot.

He came home on December 20th (day before my birthday) for two weeks over the Christmas holiday. We spent Christmas with my family. As we talked more and more we decided maybe it would be best to get married while he was home. (For financial reasons, and a couple we'll discuss later.) Finally, after a lot of discussion we decided to go ahead with it. This was decided Sunday December 28th. That night we took his parents over to my parents' house to tell them we wanted to get married on the 30th. (Yes, two days later.)

Unfortunately, well, let's just say they didn't take it very well. In two days I got the day off work, a dress, a cake, secured someone to marry us, got a few decorations, and called family- at least half thought I was pregnant- so they could come. It was a very nice little ceremony. My mom started speaking to me again about 2 hours before the wedding and my dad decided (seconds before I was to walk) that he would, in fact, walk me down the aisle and give me away. Afterward, we shoved cake in each other's faces, mingled with our guests, took a few pictures, and we were off to a hotel for the night- courtesy of Matt's parents.

Our wedding night was great except I got sick with pink eye and strep throat and didn't sleep a wink. The next morning I got up and went to work. Three days later, Matt went back to basic training, leaving me behind in New Mexico until February 8th. (The second time we were apart.) To be continued...

Check back tomorrow for the second installment!

Up in the night...

Do you ever feel judged?  I know there have been several times in my life where I felt very judged.  Why is it that people have to have an opinion on how I live my life, what I choose to do with it, and who I spend it with?  Now I'm not saying I'm perfect and have never judged anyone.  I do have my opinions, but I try not to share those opinions with the person if I think it will make them feel judged.  Though I'm sure it has happened.  (And I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel judged.)

Last night I had a hard time sleeping for several reasons, but one of them was that something happened that make me feel judged for choosing to get remarried.  It's true that getting remarried has changed a lot of what I thought might occur this year.  Maybe I haven't done as much as I wanted to this year.  Maybe if I had stayed single I could have done more.  I did have a lot more time to myself then.  To me, time to myself is overrated when compared to having my family whole.

My question is, how would that have been better than reuniting my family?  Do you have any idea what this has done for GOOD for us?  Maybe you have an idea, but only we know the benefits we have seen from this decision.  Just because an opinion seems right for one person, doesn't mean it's right for me.

Is our life perfect?  Absolutely not!  Do we have struggles?  Absolutely.  Are we perfect for each other?  Is anyone?  What we know is that we love each other and it's worth it to us to work on any issues in order to be together and keep our family together.  It's worth the hard questions we get from Zoe each night like, "Mom, Dad, are you not going anywhere?"  It's worth reassuring her and ourselves that we intend to keep working forever to make sure she (and we) never has that fear again.

The only people who could/can make this decision are Matt and me.  We know what is best for us.  Am I still working to improve myself along with improving my marriage?  Of course!  But I have a lot of other things on my plate.  Life is all about balance.  In my life, I cannot choose to ONLY focus on myself.  I have children, a husband, work, responsibilities, AND myself to take care of.  All those things take a lot of time.  And I would appreciate some respect for everything I am responsible for.

We all have our own story.  We all have things and issues we are dealing with.  How about we waste less time judging and feeling judged and spend more time finding out how to help each other?

Sorry for the rant, people.  I just had to get that out.  Thanks!

On memories, gratitude, sacrifice and service...

Most of us are sick today.  We're snuggled up together in our pajamas reading books and watching football and documentaries among tributes to 9/11.  It makes me teary-eyed and I hug my husband and my children a little tighter.

Ten years.  It's hard to believe that much time has past since I was sitting in front of the TV in my boyfriend's (at the time) dorm after my morning music theory class.  I will never forget what I saw.  I will never forget how I felt.  I will never forget suddenly not feeling as safe to live in this country.

I grew up in a patriotic family.  I have a deep-rooted, strong love for my country...faults and all.  I know there are a lot of opinions on that day and what has occurred for years after.  Today I just want to publicly thank all those who keep me and my family safe and protected from all the different threats we could face.  From our local PD on up.  I am truly grateful.

My heart goes out to those who lost people they cared about that day, and to those who have lost people since- no matter the circumstance.  I know how memories like the ones spurred today can make you miss your loved ones.

I have learned a lot about complacency in my short life.  If nothing else, my only hope is that the anniversary of 9/11 helps people to remember to be grateful for what they have.  Always live to remember that you could lose everything in the smallest instant.

We all make sacrifices.  Some are much harder than others, some are much braver, some are recognized, some are not.  I think the important lesson that we can learn from all those who stepped up to help that day is that we need to be there for others.  Protect them, love them and DO NOT judge them.  Instead, find out what you can do to help.  Even in the simple way of being a true friend.  Serve others.

In the spirit of this, through blogging I have discovered a situation that happened to a family recently.  I don't know them, but it breaks my heart.  They are the Martins and they have just been through a very difficult situation.  Please click here to read their story and help them in any way you can.  I also have some friends, Aaron and Lexie, who opened their hearts to a little girl named Bella and said "yes" when many would have said "no".  Please visit their facebook page. At the very least, please send prayers or kind thoughts to both of these families.  Better, share their stories with your friends or on your blog.  If you can, helping them monetarily would benefit them the most.  Thank you for anything you can do to help.

Five Minute Friday: In Real Life

It's time for Five Minute Friday! Click over to The Gypsy Mama for instructions if you would like to participate! (You totally should!)

Today's prompt is: In real life...


I like to pretend that the perfectionist in my head is the actual person who writes this blog.  I would like people to think that I keep my house perfectly and my children behave perfectly all the time and that I never lose my cool.  I would like people to think that my remarriage is going swimmingly and that we never have problems.  I would like people to think that I'm still as skinny as I was a few months ago.  I would like to think this, but I know it's not true.  I try to be honest on this blog, so I hope none of you think any of those things.

In real life, I am a perfectionist, but my busy life of working from home, motherhood, marriage and everything else on my plate doesn't allow for perfectionism.  That is as it should be.  Does it still plague me that my baseboards need to be wiped and my oven needs to be cleaned, of course!  But most days I'm happy just to get a shower in. 

My children are crazy little monsters, whom I love dearly and wouldn't trade for anything.  They can be sweet and loving and lovable...but they can also be screaming balls of fire and brimstone and I often lose my cool.  We do a lot of apologizing in our house.

My marriage is going fine.  We have our ups and downs like everyone else, but we have our past issues added to that and they are hard to overcome sometimes.  But we love each other enough to keep working at it everyday, keep going on dates to reconnect, and keep being honest.

I've gained back 2/3 of the weight I lost during my divorce and am almost back to where I was after Paige was born.  I'm working on it, but it bothers me so I don't write on it much.

So, as you can see, in real life, though I am ALWAYS working to balance things, and working to be better, my life is just like yours, a little messy.  And that's OK.  Real life is a little messy.


Tell me something real about you and/or your life!  (Also, if you have not yet, please click one of those buttons up there and find a way to follow me.)  :)

It's Finally Here!

In the interest of attempting to be less of a perfectionist I have decided to start posting at the new site even though I'm not done with all the design elements and moving four years of posts over.  I have done this for a variety of reasons.

First, as I move posts over, it is more work for me to move them if I keep posting at the old site.

Second, I like the options I have here at blogger much better than I had at the old site. 

Third, I'm tired of paying for the other one.  :) 

Please take some time to look around, try things, let me know what works and what doesn't.  Ask me questions, etc.  I have moved only some of my posts from the very beginning and some recent ones.  I will continue to work on this.

I hope all of you that follow me on a feed reader or get my posts by email will visit those buttons on the side and find a way to follow me on the new blog!  Thank you for your patience as I continue to work on this new space.  Any kind, constructive criticism and/or feedback is welcome by email or in the comments.

Five Minute Friday: Rest

I'm very happy to say, and this has nothing to do with this post, that I have been very good with my workouts this week. Feeling accomplished.

It's time for Five Minute Friday! Click over to The Gypsy Mama for instructions if you would like to participate! (You totally should!)
Today's prompt is: Rest


5-minute-friday-1I have a hard time resting. My mind goes a million miles an hour ALL THE TIME. Ask Matt. A question he often poses to me: "Does your mind EVER turn off?" My answer is always "no".
Recently, I have started to notice that my kids are exhibiting behaviors that they only display when I'm too busy. I don't like that I am making them feel like I'm too busy to do fun things.

I have a really hard time letting go of the fact that my work is never done. Often I feel that if I could just get one day where I don't have to work or care for my kids I could finally get it all done. But I know that is silly because, in truth, "GETTING IT ALL DONE" is impossible. No matter how much I accomplished in that one day, there would always be more.

What this has all lead me to believe is that, perhaps, I just need to pick the most important things I have on my "To Do" list each day, get them done, and spend the rest of my time playing with my kids. OR, spending a few moments with myself doing some purposeful resting. Letting my mind and body recharge. Shall we say find a balance? Guess I have something to work on.


Do you give yourself time to rest? Tell me how! Or how you plan to!