Five Minute Friday: Whole

Has it really been two weeks since I posted? I tried so hard to keep up with this on line life of mine but I got too busy with real life and the importance of what was/is going on in my family so I took a long break. I feel more refreshed now.

I am back in town, still trying to put my house back together after being gone so long. Posting will continue but it will not be every day. I love blogging but it is becoming all-consuming. Since this blog is about finding a balance that doesn't seem right. I hope you'll continue to follow along!

It's time for Five Minute Friday! Click over to The Gypsy Mama for instructions if you would like to participate! (You totally should!)

Today's prompt is: Whole

Go.
After a few days of being home and getting back to the craziness that is my life I have realized that a part of me feels very empty. That part of me that is filled with the laughter and inside jokes of my family. That part of me that feels just right beside my sister talking about pregnancy and babies and the future. That part of me that saw my new niece for the first time. That part of me that smiles as I watch them play and interact with my kids. That part of me that recognizes this warm, safe place as home.

I was in New Mexico for nearly three weeks. Always when I go home I am ready to leave for MY home by the end of the trip. Mostly because I like my routine and the life we have created here. While I still treasure my life, family and friends here, this departure from home was measurably more difficult. I felt a deep weight on my chest as I said goodbye to my newest niece, the brother I saw for only a few days after two years of separation, and the family I can never seem to get enough of.

There is a part of me that wishes I could combine the two lives I feel I lead. The life I live everyday and the life I have to visit and then leave behind. If only it were possible I know I would feel whole and not always have a half-empty feeling. If only.

Stop.

What makes you feel whole? What makes you feel empty? Please leave a comment and share with us. If you have not yet, please take a moment to find a way to follow me!

A Miracle

I witnessed a miracle today. A gorgeous, 12.8 inch, 1 pound 14 ounce miracle. Her name is Isabella and she is my newest niece- and the very first for me on my side of the family. As I sat by her side and gently stroked her tiny feet, it was love at first sight.

She looks just like her Mom, my youngest sister, Kristin, who says she has her Dad's lips. As I sat and watched her tiny chest rise and fall I noticed her clenched fist looked an awful lot like mine. I smiled inwardly at this and laughed a while later when my Mom echoed that thought aloud. Only fitting, since my firstborn looked just like her Aunt Kristin at birth.

Speaking of Kristin, I am so proud of her. After all she's faced in the last two days she was calm and self assured when I finally got to see her. Already doing what Mommies do best: taking care of her little girl any way she can. Amazing how in one day, the little sister who I always had trouble accepting was old enough to be married, became a Mom. And, though she has been for a while, a woman in the eyes of an older sister who didn't want to believe she grew up. So much wisdom and bravery in her eyes.

And who could ask for a better Dad than Cameron? My Brother-in-law is a rock upon rocks. He is brave and strong and always keeps a clear head. Always there to support the people he loves. Someone you can count on. As he took me back to see her, I listened to him talking. It takes literally seconds to become a Father. Any man can be a Father. Cameron is a Dad.

Imagine finding out you're going to be a parent three months early! They have both stepped up to that role and I am so in awe of them. Isabella couldn't have come to better parents.

There has been miracle upon miracle in her life so far. She is a strong and special little girl. I can't wait to see what she does with this life of hers. I can't wait to see what she has to teach us. For now, she just needs to rest and grow.

I don't want to share too many details here. I don't want to take that privilege from her parents. I will say that your thoughts and prayers thus far seem to be working...and continue to ask for more.

I love you little Bella!