Quieting the Chaos

Often, after I settle my girls in bed, my evenings are spent working or laying on the couch watching television or cleaning the kitchen.  Tonight as I sat down to turn on the TV I hesitated as I noticed the calm peace that had settled over my home.  Not wanting to disturb that peace, I turned here instead.

Lately my family has had a difficult time getting along.  When I say my family, I mean every single one of us.  I have been tired and grumpy and stressed.  Matt has felt similar feelings and also has work issues he carries home with him.  The girls and I are desperately trying to get back into our normal routine after a difficult month in March.  They are fighting a lot more, arguing with us, being disobedient, lazy, pushing our buttons harder.  I told a friend today that I sometimes feel like my kids have been replaced with rude aliens.  When my kids are acting up and I am not at my best and most energetic, well, let's just say that my attitude probably doesn't help much.

Tonight we were having another rough evening.  Everyone's tone of voice was on edge.  There was so much contention going on!  Matt and I were both exhausted and trying to get dinner made.  My home felt chaotic and unsettled and I felt like we were all going to either explode or kill each other if I didn't do something to change our environment and our attitudes.  So I took the advice my Mother gave me as a small child when we talked about what I could do when I was angry or scared or unsettled: I turned to the Hymns. 

Thank goodness for technology!  I opened up the Pandora app on my phone and plugged it into the speaker and bathed my home and my family in Hymns.  Within moments I felt more peaceful.  Within minutes, my kids were getting along and laughing as Zoe worked on her math program for school as Paige watched.  Matt calmed down and got a bit of rest on the couch as I finished up the dishes. 

I have a strong belief and testimony of the power of good music in our lives.  I have always felt the Spirit of my Heavenly Father strongest through music.  It is through using my talents that I am able to most fully express myself and my testimony.  Maybe it isn't that way for everyone.  I know that music speaks to me in a different way than it does to others.  It is almost as if music is my most innate language.  Music skips words and thought and just goes directly to my heart. 

The music flowing through my home this evening changed our environment, softened our hearts and allowed the Spirit to calmly reside here.  That one decision changed the entire course of our evening.  No, my kids weren't perfect, but they were better and I was far more patient and understanding.  We ended the evening with scriptures and prayers, a song for each of them and a few giggles and I feel so much better about how the end of the day played out.  I was able to stop and really appreciate them for who they are.  I was able to really enjoy them.

I know I have been so blessed every time I look at my family.  We are so fortunate to have a roof over our heads, to have our basic needs not just met but exceeded, to have insurance and good jobs, but most of all to have each other.  When life gets hectic and busy it is so easy for me to get frustrated with the attitudes of my kids.  Or when they get really needy when I am doing something.  When I am tired it is easy to say I don't want to play house right now.  But the thing is, it really is just as easy to do the opposite- if I can bring peace to myself and my home.

I need to always remember to stop and take the time to invite peace into my home and into my heart so that I can always give my children my best self instead of my crazy, frustrated self.  Tonight those Hymns helped me to do that.  Tomorrow that may look like 10 minutes of decompression and meditation in my room.  Or yoga before bed to quiet my mind and my soul.  It could be five deep breaths in the pantry.  I have plenty of tools before me.  I have learned these lessons.  I just need to remember to put them into practice every day.

Now I'm off to get some work done as I enjoy this quiet I have created in my space.  I hope you all have a peaceful evening!

I know that Hymns may not work for everyone.  Especially those who believe differently than me.  What do you do to bring peace to your home or to yourself?  What quiets the chaos in your life or in your heart? Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Post Christmas Blues Cure

I finally took all my Christmas decorations down today.  It was especially hard for me to let go of Christmas this year.  I always get a little depressed after Christmas is over and want to hang onto it as long as I can.  Perhaps it was because I was so excited for this Christmas.  My girls were so much fun to watch as they anticipated the arrival of Santa.  Although, the "I wants" were numerous this year thanks to all the well placed toy advertisements.  Still, they managed to narrow things down to must-haves and we were able to get a couple of books to help them understand the reason we celebrate Christmas. 

They also were very sweet and giving.  I got the cutest homemade drawing from Zoe that Matt helped her wrap.  I love that it's the homemade things, the presents made and given with love that mean the most.  We were all spoiled this year.

When I'm feeling down, I find the best thing to do is count my blessings.  I am so grateful for all that I have.  Matt and I have good, stable jobs that allow us to live in a comfortable, warm home and provide for our family.  I am blessed to have a close relationship with my Heavenly Father.  We are blessed with two amazing girls who bring joy to our lives and teach us patience daily.  We are blessed with individual talents.  Matt and I have each other, and if you've been reading this blog long, you'll understand why that is such an important blessing.  We also have amazing family and friends who we literally wouldn't be able to survive without. 

I have plenty of goals for the year, plenty of things I want to learn and become, plenty that I want to have.  I will get to posting all those as soon as I can.  Tonight, I just wanted to take a minute to start the year taking notice of  all that I am blessed with.  It has made me feel a little less sad that my favorite time of year is gone for now.  Can't wait to see what the future holds!  Have a good night friends!

Be Optimistic

When life gets hard I tend to nit-pick and find excuses to complain about everything. We've been so busy lately I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off. There are so many things that aren't going the way I want them to, or aren't happening fast enough that I find myself unhappy at the end of the day. Today I was thinking in a broader spectrum. I was thinking that Zoe actually improved a bit this afternoon in her fussiness with my sister-in-law...teething and all. It occurred to me that Love and I both have jobs during these rough economic times. I own a home and I do not owe more than it's worth. Even if that's all we can do, my bills are always paid. We have never gone hungry. My clothes may not be really nice and they may not fit perfectly, but at least I have something to wear. My car is in great working condition and we can afford to pay for gas. As much as I don't love my body right now, I haven't really exercised in a long time and I managed to lose 10 pounds. My daughter makes me smile every day. Love can always make me laugh and I am the wife of a hard-working man who is everything to me and I am everything to him. I am surrounded by people who love me and support me no matter what. Zoe doesn't have to attend daycare because I have amazing family who is willing to care for her so I can work. Today the temperature was a perfect 55 degrees, it was sunny outside, I didn't have to wear a coat, it was wonderful. I could go on. My point is, when you examine your life trying to find the blessings instead of the frustrations you will be amazed by what you have. It's true that no matter how dark life seems, there is always a silver lining...though sometimes it's so small that it's hard to see. So take a few moments to smile and be optimistic...see if there is a little sunshine trying to peek through.

Things to Remember

I was thinking yesterday about how much I've complained lately about being pregnant. In all reality I have really enjoyed pregnancy up until it started getting hard. Even during the hard parts, though, there are still so many things that bring me joy. So, I decided to write down the things I want to remember from this pregnancy, and share them with you.
-The prayers, heartache and fears as we struggled to conceive. It may sound weird, but I just want to keep myself grounded. I will never forget what a blessing it is to be pregnant, and what a blessing she will be to our lives, as long as I remember the road that led here.
-Our first meeting with my favorite Doctor. After our experience with our first doctor that supposedly specialized in infertility, our present doctor is and was a breath of fresh air.
-Seeing two pink lines.
-Matt's face when I told him.
-Our family/ friend's reactions when we shared the news. I'll never forget how many people were there to support us with love and prayers while we were trying and the excitement they felt for us when our miracle finally happened.
-Calling my own parents Grandma and Grandpa.
-Our first appointment and my excitement over a little black and white picture of a bean with a heartbeat...and hearing it for the first time.
-Starting to show...
-The car accident...because I knew at that moment that she was and will always be the most important person in my life.
-Hearing a perfect little heartbeat the morning after the accident.
-Those first little flutters of movement and realizing they were her.
-Finding out we were having a little baby girl and seeing the first pictures of our sweet baby.
-Matt getting to feel her move for the first time. She would always stop moving when he tried to feel her. One day, he placed his ear on my bare stomach and just listened. She promptly delivered three swift kicks to his head. :)
-Growing out of so many items of clothing and being ok with it.
-When my Mom and siblings got to feel her move for the first time.
-Getting over the fact that I have stretch marks because anything is worth it for her.
-The baby showers.
-The joy I feel and the smile on my face every time she kicks a book resting on my stomach, rolls across my belly- making it look alive or gets the hiccups.
-Matt's impatience for her arrival- he is going to be such an amazing father.
-The fact that I can get over my needle phobia to make sure we are safe.
-Wearing flip-flops everyday because they are the only shoes I fit into.
-Knowing that I love and will love her more than I have ever loved anyone or anything in my entire life.
-Knowing that, by love, prayers, tears, and patience, she was sent to Matt and I at just the right time as a gift from our Father in Heaven.
-Lastly, knowing that my life is about to change forever...and being perfectly OK with that.
I'm certain that is not everything...but I think this post is long enough. I know there are many of you that read this blog that haven't experienced this before. Either because it hasn't happened for you YET, or because you're not ready, or too young or whatever. I just want to clarify that, through all my rantings and I near the end of this pregnancy, these things are the joys I experience every day. No matter how hard it is, or how tough it gets, it is all worth it. I hope every person in this world gets to someday experience this kind of happiness...and if you do, that you don't take it for granted.