What a crazy week it's been! I have so much going on right now. I'm being pulled in ten different directions and I have no idea where to start. Right now my focus is finishing plans for my sister's Bridal Shower. It has been very stressful lately and I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I keep taking notes and making plans and depositing them everywhere. I decided it's high time I buy a day planner before I am buried in post-it notes. It's going to be big, 100 people were sent invitations and I'm an inexperienced party planner...any advice for the stress bucket? (I promise to post pictures of the event once I finish everything.)
Here's a breakdown of last week:
* Last Wednesday our good friends came up from Las Vegas to stay with us for our mutual friends' wedding. I had spent the previous 3 days working 10 hour shifts and I was exhausted. We were excited to have them so we stayed up way to late talking. I woke up too early Thursday and went to work my last four hours of a very long work week. After my shift we went to the Salt Lake Temple to be there after the wedding. They came out looking ecstatic and gorgeous and it was a whirlwind of congrats and pictures. The heat got to us after a while so we left and ran errands. Their luncheon was later that afternoon and we were running late. Then we got stuck in traffic on the way there and ended up being an hour late. We were so embarrassed our stomachs were churning as we walked in the doors. We were welcomed promptly and the churning stopped. It ended up being a fun, but very long day.
* Friday we took the day off to spend time with our friends. We were all tired and lazy from the previous day- not to mention the fact that our men went golfing at the crack of dawn and were exhausted the rest of the day. Since we couldn't get them up and moving us wives decided to get ready for the day. (We had been waiting because we were SUPPOSED to go swimming. Oh well.) We had planned to go out for sushi but, when we got to the restaurant, the baby wasn't having a good night so we left. The boys had pizza at home with baby and the girls went out to O1ive Garden for a night away.
* Saturday I returned a surprise phone call from my best friend, love squalor, saying she was in town!!! We made the short trip down to Orem and crashed her family reunion. We had a couple hours of catching up and had to be on our way back home for dinner with a group of friends. It was so great to see her and precious Esme. I hope I get to see them again when I'm in New Mexico next week for the shower.
* Sunday was a hard day. I have a sister, Shaina Rose, who died on July 1st, 1994 three hours after coming into this world. She was born with a condition called Trisomy 18, which basically means she was missing her 18th chromosome. Without it she was premature, her hands and feet curled in, and her diaphragm never developed. With no diaphragm her right lung never developed and she couldn't breathe. I was 11 years old when she came in and out of our lives. Thirteen years later I carry on a tradition my family started of writing her a message on a balloon and releasing it into the sky. Love has been kind and supportive of this every year. For some reason, her birthday hit me hard this year. I am not certain why, maybe because I so desperately want a baby of my own and, for a second, the thought of the loss my Mother must have felt that day hit me. Our lesson at church was focused on loss...not just loss of a loved one, but loss of anything. I believe all couples desperate for a baby know the feeling of loss you experience every month you don't conceive. I felt that loss very strongly on Sunday. After church we went to my sister-in-law's house for family dinner. I have mentioned my other sister-in-law before. She and I have been trying for almost the same amount of time. Her doctor put her on Clom1d and she announced her pregnancy on Sunday afternoon. As happy as I was for them and for the hope it brought me that it might actually happen for me, I was already very emotional and tried very hard not to burst into tears. After much hemming and hawing- because I was trying to hide my glassy eyes and red face- I finally went up and gave her a hug and told her how happy I was for her. The tears flowed promptly and she- being the wonderful sister she is and having experienced the same feelings I had- cried too. We stood there and held each other for a while. She admitted to being worried about telling me. I hope she truly does understand that I am ecstatic for them...just a little sad for me.
*Monday and Tuesday flew by, I worked and hung out with friends. Tuesday night we went to the annual family barbecue and watched a decent fireworks show. Wednesday it was time for our friends to leave. They packed up their car, we hugged them goodbye and walked back into our empty house. It was sad to see them leave. We really enjoyed having them here so long and remembered how much we miss them living here. I will admit that it was nice to get back to my routine...we all know I am structure and routine oriented...
*Thursday felt like another Monday. Having a holiday in the middle of the week really threw me off! After a long day at work I went to Love's softball game. After the game we invited ourselves over to the newlywed's house to see their place and hang out for a bit. They ended up making us the best spaghetti we've ever had and we left too late for me to write last night.
So that's it. After looking it over, I'm afraid I might have bored you all to death. Sorry. At least you're updated now...
A Monday Story
I stirred this morning, stretched my arm back and felt my secondary pillow.
Instantly a thought came to mind, "An extra pillow means I need to wake up."
(Don't ask...I'm still wondering myself.) I jumped up and looked at the clock.
"Oh no!!!! It's 6:48!" (Supposed to wake up at 6:20.) Throwing the covers
back I hopped lightly onto the floor and floated...uh stumbled to the
bathroom. Blah blah, then turned on the shower, undressed and got in.
Fastest.shower.ever. Afterward I yelled to Love, "Wake up!" "Moan" (love) I
made my way to the closet, picked out clean clothes, threw them on and went back
to the bathroom. My hair was quickly thrown into an (unflattering) up-do, a wet
one, and my face was quickly dusted, colored, and mascara'd (??). Rushing to
the kitchen, I threw some food in a bag and ran out the door.
That is how my day started. Here is what followed:
-Stress over money
-Love not in a good mood
-Anger towards lazy people
-Bridal shower grief
-Fighting about money
-Good sale turned sour
-Ate lunch at my desk while working
-Ten hour shift
-Didn't finish all tasks
-Didn't have time to pick up important package
-Traffic- while fighting about money
-Wa1mart
Thankfully things are better now. Still hate Mondays, money, and a few other things. Time to sleep and try again tomorrow.
That is how my day started. Here is what followed:
-Stress over money
-Love not in a good mood
-Anger towards lazy people
-Bridal shower grief
-Fighting about money
-Good sale turned sour
-Ate lunch at my desk while working
-Ten hour shift
-Didn't finish all tasks
-Didn't have time to pick up important package
-Traffic- while fighting about money
-Wa1mart
Thankfully things are better now. Still hate Mondays, money, and a few other things. Time to sleep and try again tomorrow.
Carnival
Yesterday we went to West Fest, a carnival in West Valley City, UT. Here are
a few captured moments:
The craziest ride, our friends M and A, and Love.
Some amazing fireworks taken by my silly little Samsung Digimax 4010.**
And finally, the "shrapnel" that fell on us through the entire show.
The craziest ride, our friends M and A, and Love.
Some amazing fireworks taken by my silly little Samsung Digimax 4010.**
And finally, the "shrapnel" that fell on us through the entire show.
I got me a partner!
Well, I got one a long time ago...but Love has agreed to start getting up and
running with me in the morning! If there's one thing I've learned about myself
over the years, it's that I AM NOT a self-motivated person. I must have a
reason, a friend, or a prepared task that gives me incentive to do something.
If I have that, I'm great. I am a doer, a go-getter, a task...completer...???
Yeah, something like that. If not, I'm sunk. It's terribly sad, I know...but
don't worry. If I don't have a motivator, I am excellent at complaining.
In baby news, well, there really isn't any. I don't know if I'm pregnant or not this month...and honestly...I am not really to worried about it. Maybe I'm in denial...maybe I have found some sort of peace about the whole thing for a while...maybe I'm just tired. Yes, tired. I'm tired of thinking about it constantly. Sick of letting it take over my life. I have so much stress in my life right now and sometimes I feel like if I could just get pregnant...a lot of it would be relieved. To me, stress may be something keeping me from getting there. So, I'm trying to take a step back. I want to start focusing on me, on Love, on getting in shape, finding more time for creative things. Maybe if I just try to step out of it for a bit...I'll conceive. Who knows? It's worth a shot right? Don't worry, we're definitely not giving up. We are still trying...still...well you know...on the right days and all that. Yet we're trying to focus on other things for a while. If that doesn't work by the end of the summer, then we'll look at our budget and see if we can fit in those (high cost, not covered by insurance- that's another topic though) options that the Doctor gave us. I want a baby soooo bad. I'm aching to be a mother and to let Love experience the fatherhood he never got to have with his daughter. I guess I'm just not ready to give up on nature yet. Has anyone else had this problem?
In baby news, well, there really isn't any. I don't know if I'm pregnant or not this month...and honestly...I am not really to worried about it. Maybe I'm in denial...maybe I have found some sort of peace about the whole thing for a while...maybe I'm just tired. Yes, tired. I'm tired of thinking about it constantly. Sick of letting it take over my life. I have so much stress in my life right now and sometimes I feel like if I could just get pregnant...a lot of it would be relieved. To me, stress may be something keeping me from getting there. So, I'm trying to take a step back. I want to start focusing on me, on Love, on getting in shape, finding more time for creative things. Maybe if I just try to step out of it for a bit...I'll conceive. Who knows? It's worth a shot right? Don't worry, we're definitely not giving up. We are still trying...still...well you know...on the right days and all that. Yet we're trying to focus on other things for a while. If that doesn't work by the end of the summer, then we'll look at our budget and see if we can fit in those (high cost, not covered by insurance- that's another topic though) options that the Doctor gave us. I want a baby soooo bad. I'm aching to be a mother and to let Love experience the fatherhood he never got to have with his daughter. I guess I'm just not ready to give up on nature yet. Has anyone else had this problem?
Screws, Pain, and Fatigue
Wow, it's been a few days huh? Well, I did go see the doctor on Thursday.
After a significant amount of poking and prodding (which made my semi-pain-free
arm hurt enormously), me worrying that I didn't know if I was pregnant or not
this month (ha!) and an x-ray wearing double lead and sitting as far away from
the x-ray table as my arm would allow...we know exactly nothing. The one screw
that is bothering me seems to be slightly unaligned with the rest, but not
enough to tell if it is actually loose. So, right now, I'm just waiting. The
doctor wants to see if maybe it was hit and is just inflamed, or if it is
actually coming loose. I have an appointment for a month from now, which I will
keep if the pain persists. As of now, my arm actually feels fine most of the
time. Let's all hope it stays that way...at least until after summer.
My three major Monday complaints are:
* I woke up with a stomach ache AGAIN this morning. What is up with that?
* I had a relaxing, boring weekend. Why am I so freakin tired?
* Work
Let's all just get through today huh?
P.S. I haven't had one spare moment of time lately to go on a picture hunt for my header...please be patient with me! :-)
My three major Monday complaints are:
* I woke up with a stomach ache AGAIN this morning. What is up with that?
* I had a relaxing, boring weekend. Why am I so freakin tired?
* Work
Let's all just get through today huh?
P.S. I haven't had one spare moment of time lately to go on a picture hunt for my header...please be patient with me! :-)
Drawing is NOT like riding a bike...you do forget.
A list...
Reasons why this is a terrible Monday:
* I went to bed late and woke up exhausted
* Not only exhausted, but with stomach cramps
* I have plates and screws in my left forearm from crashing on a bicycle 11 years ago. Saturday my arm started to hurt. Over the past couple days a bump has developed and I think one of the screws is coming out. Very painful. I have an appointment on Thursday to get it checked out, but most likely, I will have to have surgery to get them all removed- after which I will have to wear a cast (again) for 6 weeks.
* My fingernail IS indeed going to fall off
* I am already stressed out between work, functioning during daily activities, and trying to have a baby...along with Matron of Honor duties for my sister's wedding. Now, I have to get x-rays, have surgery and wear a cast- which probably means no baby for at least two more months and I will have a deformed finger to go along with it.
* The worst part? The arm, at least, could have been avoided if I had gotten the screws removed a year after the surgery (as my doctor recommended knowing this would happen eventually) and worn the cast then.
All I have to say is...grrrrrrr
* I went to bed late and woke up exhausted
* Not only exhausted, but with stomach cramps
* I have plates and screws in my left forearm from crashing on a bicycle 11 years ago. Saturday my arm started to hurt. Over the past couple days a bump has developed and I think one of the screws is coming out. Very painful. I have an appointment on Thursday to get it checked out, but most likely, I will have to have surgery to get them all removed- after which I will have to wear a cast (again) for 6 weeks.
* My fingernail IS indeed going to fall off
* I am already stressed out between work, functioning during daily activities, and trying to have a baby...along with Matron of Honor duties for my sister's wedding. Now, I have to get x-rays, have surgery and wear a cast- which probably means no baby for at least two more months and I will have a deformed finger to go along with it.
* The worst part? The arm, at least, could have been avoided if I had gotten the screws removed a year after the surgery (as my doctor recommended knowing this would happen eventually) and worn the cast then.
All I have to say is...grrrrrrr
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