The title is a perfect example of how I'm feeling lately. It seems that the minute the weather starts to warm up, we are busy little bees. For instance, every day for the next 11 days is planned. While this is certainly helping the time fly by, it is also making me tired. I spend any extra time resting with my feet up to try to keep the swelling down. Instead I would like to be finishing Zoe's room, cleaning my house, running errands, finishing projects...you get the idea. Anyhow, that is my excuse- yes I know I'm full of those- for not posting until now. And on to the update:
I am 32 weeks...which means I have roughly 7 and a half weeks left until my due date...which is not very long and yet is an eternity. Zoe is almost 4 pounds- and I can feel her weight starting to take it's toll on my back, my bones and my energy level. She's still kicking around in there fairly often...many times torturing my poor ribs. I have been having small contractions a bit more often...but no worries. I am starting to feel more out of breath and get heartburn after nearly everything I eat. I have another doctor's appointment on Wednesday.
Mother's Day was really fun for me. Love got me an hour long pregnancy massage...something I've been wanting for a bit. Now I just have to decide when to get it. :) My Mom, my sister, both Grandma's and my Aunt made it a point to tell me "Happy Mother's Day" and it meant a lot to me. I got to speak with many of the mothers in my life and spent the afternoon with Love's family for dinner. Overall it was a great day. Last year Mother's Day was a bit painful for me, so I shared my thoughts about my own Mother. This year Mother's Day was filled with hope and excitement for what is to come. I love these feelings.
Today I had another appointment with the Diabetes people and it didn't go so well. I feel confused. My doctor tells me I don't have diabetes, my numbers (blood sugar levels) tell me I do. When I went in today I wasn't sure what to expect. They are worried that my numbers are getting higher and decided to put me on a small dose of insulin and I, once again, have to test my sugars 7 times a day. I hate to admit it, but I have cheated a few times as far as the amount of carbs I have and haven't been exercising the last couple of weeks. I was emotional about the whole thing for several reasons:
1. I'm pregnant and am therefore emotional about everything.
2. I feel like it's my fault because I haven't been doing EVERYTHING I can to stay within range.
3. I breathed a sigh of relief when my OB/GYN said I didn't have gestational diabetes, but still knew I wasn't normal and today made me realize I really do have it.
4. I hate needles. Pricking myself has been bad enough, now I have to give myself a shot once a day.
I am just tired. I want this pregnancy to be over so I know she's here and she's safe and my body can return to a state of normalcy. In the meantime, I'm trying to get a handle on my emotions and trying to find the will to do better.
Attention...
The 32 weeks post is coming soon...as is a new design now that icy, blue winter has loosened it's grip. For now, here's an example of the attention Zoe and I got while I was home in NM:
P.S. That blanket behind me...yeah, I totally crocheted that! :)
P.S. That blanket behind me...yeah, I totally crocheted that! :)
A Third Trimester Class
Last night was our first "labor preparation class". It was interesting. No one in the group was very talkative and I am somewhat shy, so we didn't get to know anyone. We talked a lot about the different stages of birth and signs of real vs. false labor. We also practiced breathing and relaxation techniques. The educator played a video for us, which was only slightly comical due to when it was made, and afterward I approached Love about two things- since he's done this before. First, I asked if I get to wear a gown and if I'll be covered up most of the time until actual birth- because I swear every woman in the video was practically nude. (He said yes.) Second, I was a little unnerved by the color of the baby just out of the womb. I remember seeing my little sister born, but I don't remember her being bluish- of course I was 11. I guess I knew somewhere deep down, but it made me glad I signed up for the class so I would be prepared for that. I took me a long time to finally decide to take the class, but so far I'm happy with the decision. Did any of you moms take a class?
Finances and Promised Photos
So, Love and I spent probably two hours talking about money today. I have all these worries about working only part time after Zoe comes, and how we're going to pay all the bills while I'm on Maternity leave. We have plans in the works, but sometimes I wish somehow I could twinkle my nose and our debt would be gone. Wouldn't that be nice? I think we've talked through and found a couple immediate solutions...so that's good- talking definitely helps. I still hold on to the hope that, somehow, there will be a way for me to stay home with Zoe and not have to go back to work at all...but I keep myself in check because, right now, there is no way that will happen. I know that the Lord will bless us and that, hopefully, we'll have enough for what we need...I guess I just need to keep praying and try to make as much as I can before our little miracle gets here. Sorry to bore you with money talk, but I'm sure I'm not the only one that has these issues...how do you deal with financial worries?
Also, I know I never posted the pictures of the blessing dress my Mom made that caused me to burst into tears at my shower...so here they are now:
Also, I know I never posted the pictures of the blessing dress my Mom made that caused me to burst into tears at my shower...so here they are now:
And the Road Takes Another Turn
Well I'm 31 weeks now and had a doctor's appointment yesterday that was very interesting. To sum it up, let's just say my doctor took a look at my blood sugar numbers over the past couple weeks and pretty much said they were too good...that I don't have gestational diabetes. What??????????? Yeah, so we talked about it and remember how I said I thought it was strange that they didn't have me fast before the three hour glucose test? Well I WAS supposed to. So, obviously my sugars would be ridiculously high since your fasting blood sugar should be quite a bit lower than it is after you eat. Anyway, I do still have a sensitivity to carbs and sugars as displayed by my numbers when I have too much, but now all I have to do is stick to the diet and keep up the exercise and only test ONCE a day. Can I just tell you how nice that is? I really don't mind the diet too much. It's a healthier way to live...and something I want to teach Zoe early on. And I only gained one pound in the last four weeks, which is AWESOME. Overall, I feel less stressed and that is wonderful.
In other news, I got to go home last weekend to have my family/friend baby shower in New Mexico. It was so much fun! I got a lot of cute things and a few things we really needed...we're still lacking some basics, but hopefully after the next shower and our purchases we'll have basics as well. Also, my Mom made me cry at the sight of the most beautiful blessing dress I have ever seen. She hand crocheted it and added little bow and ribbon details to it that made it nothing short of exquisite. She made me leave it home so she could finish a couple things, but I got a couple pictures. I will try to post them tonight. It was awesome to spend time with my family. Zoe and I got plenty of attention as she is the first grandchild in my family and the first great grandchild on my Dad's side of the family. Everyone is so excited...which just feeds my excitement. One night while I was home, I had both sisters, my Mom and my little brother feeling my belly trying to elicit a kick or a movement from Zoe. It was quite exciting for them and I can tell Zoe is going to be one spoiled little girl. I also got a chance to see a lot of good friends while I was home. One in particular who just had a baby- and looks great! Little Eila Ruth is just beautiful and Esme is getting so big, I can't believe it! Overall it was an awesome trip, but I wish it had been longer and I could have spent more time with a few people...you know who you are.
As for little Zoe, she is getting so big! Weighing in at a whopping 3 lbs 5 oz (roughly) and measuring nearly 15 inches long. Of course these are just estimates, but I can feel how big she's getting in there. She's certainly running out of room. According to my Mom, she has dropped a bit- hopefully taking advantage of some of the space being tall affords me. It's funny/ a little painful when she stretches out and I can feel her simultaneously in my ribs and lower pelvis. As for me, things are going fine- besides just starting to feel the aches and pains of pregnancy...and hoping that a combination of rest and exercise will alleviate some of it.
There are babies everywhere. Before I left for home, Love and I were able to stop by the hospital Thursday night to meet our newest niece. She is healthy and beautiful and we fell in love instantly! I was excited to see her before I left. I swear every baby I hold makes me want Zoe to be here now- though I know she's not ready and hope she won't come until she is. Love is getting just as antsy. All this new baby stuff around, two new nieces to cuddle...it's no wonder we can't wait...not to mention how long it took for us to get to this point. I know she will be here before we know it though.
Lastly, I want to mention two things:
First, I am so grateful for the sweet, supportive comments I received about my fears about becoming a mother. I am constantly touched by old and new friends who form a strong support system with me on this little site of mine and grateful that you think so much of me.
Second, I think I'm going to try something new...and I'm going to hope I don't bore you out of your minds. I have become a blogging slacker again and want to try to do something to get myself used to writing more- which will hopefully shorten the really long posts once a week. So, I have decided to write something...anything...once a day to get back in the habit...and hope you will bear with me while I experiment. Thanks in advance!
In other news, I got to go home last weekend to have my family/friend baby shower in New Mexico. It was so much fun! I got a lot of cute things and a few things we really needed...we're still lacking some basics, but hopefully after the next shower and our purchases we'll have basics as well. Also, my Mom made me cry at the sight of the most beautiful blessing dress I have ever seen. She hand crocheted it and added little bow and ribbon details to it that made it nothing short of exquisite. She made me leave it home so she could finish a couple things, but I got a couple pictures. I will try to post them tonight. It was awesome to spend time with my family. Zoe and I got plenty of attention as she is the first grandchild in my family and the first great grandchild on my Dad's side of the family. Everyone is so excited...which just feeds my excitement. One night while I was home, I had both sisters, my Mom and my little brother feeling my belly trying to elicit a kick or a movement from Zoe. It was quite exciting for them and I can tell Zoe is going to be one spoiled little girl. I also got a chance to see a lot of good friends while I was home. One in particular who just had a baby- and looks great! Little Eila Ruth is just beautiful and Esme is getting so big, I can't believe it! Overall it was an awesome trip, but I wish it had been longer and I could have spent more time with a few people...you know who you are.
As for little Zoe, she is getting so big! Weighing in at a whopping 3 lbs 5 oz (roughly) and measuring nearly 15 inches long. Of course these are just estimates, but I can feel how big she's getting in there. She's certainly running out of room. According to my Mom, she has dropped a bit- hopefully taking advantage of some of the space being tall affords me. It's funny/ a little painful when she stretches out and I can feel her simultaneously in my ribs and lower pelvis. As for me, things are going fine- besides just starting to feel the aches and pains of pregnancy...and hoping that a combination of rest and exercise will alleviate some of it.
There are babies everywhere. Before I left for home, Love and I were able to stop by the hospital Thursday night to meet our newest niece. She is healthy and beautiful and we fell in love instantly! I was excited to see her before I left. I swear every baby I hold makes me want Zoe to be here now- though I know she's not ready and hope she won't come until she is. Love is getting just as antsy. All this new baby stuff around, two new nieces to cuddle...it's no wonder we can't wait...not to mention how long it took for us to get to this point. I know she will be here before we know it though.
Lastly, I want to mention two things:
First, I am so grateful for the sweet, supportive comments I received about my fears about becoming a mother. I am constantly touched by old and new friends who form a strong support system with me on this little site of mine and grateful that you think so much of me.
Second, I think I'm going to try something new...and I'm going to hope I don't bore you out of your minds. I have become a blogging slacker again and want to try to do something to get myself used to writing more- which will hopefully shorten the really long posts once a week. So, I have decided to write something...anything...once a day to get back in the habit...and hope you will bear with me while I experiment. Thanks in advance!
Living With Diabetes
Well, Gestational Diabetes is certainly not fun. Carb counting is not fun. Pricking your finger 7 times a day is not fun. Worrying every time the blood sugar is high is not fun. Is it worth it for Zoe? OF COURSE! To tell you the truth, while living this restricted lifestyle is frustrating, it's not that hard. This last week I went to see the Diabetes Educator- who just answered any questions I had and gave me some basic instruction on what I could eat. Then I went to a Dietitian- who gave me my specific meal plan and increased my blood sugar testing to 7 times a day. Now that I have a plan...a way to actively prevent the bad side effects of this...I'm doing OK. I don't miss soda and chocolate that much...and doing it all for my little baby girl makes it so much easier. What's three months of restricted diet and pricking my finger for a lifetime with her?
I haven't really had a lot of time to post lately, so 29 weeks was skipped...sorry! Life has been crazy. It seems like everywhere we turn there's something else going on. Time is ticking on and it's not really that long until we'll have a new little person in our lives. Can I tell you something? As much as I've been wanting this and for all we went through to get here...I'm a little scared. I keep having dreams that I won't know what to do, or that we'll struggle financially, or that we won't be ready. I worry that I won't be a good enough mom, that I'll have to work too much, that her life will fly by as fast as this pregnancy and I'm going to miss so much of it at work. I worry about all that already and she's not even here yet! Did any of you moms feel this way? How did you make yourself feel better?
Anyway, I'll make sure to post again soon! Take care my friends...and pray for warm weather!
I haven't really had a lot of time to post lately, so 29 weeks was skipped...sorry! Life has been crazy. It seems like everywhere we turn there's something else going on. Time is ticking on and it's not really that long until we'll have a new little person in our lives. Can I tell you something? As much as I've been wanting this and for all we went through to get here...I'm a little scared. I keep having dreams that I won't know what to do, or that we'll struggle financially, or that we won't be ready. I worry that I won't be a good enough mom, that I'll have to work too much, that her life will fly by as fast as this pregnancy and I'm going to miss so much of it at work. I worry about all that already and she's not even here yet! Did any of you moms feel this way? How did you make yourself feel better?
Anyway, I'll make sure to post again soon! Take care my friends...and pray for warm weather!
28 Weeks
Yes, I know. I skipped 27 weeks. For that I'm sorry. Life has been a slippery slope lately. Too much going on and I never seem to get my footing. Last week was my doctor's appointment/ glucose test (just the one-blood-sample test an hour after drinking the drink). The doctor's appointment went fine, everything looked normal. The drink didn't make me sick and they took my blood and I thought I was fine. Then, I got a call on Monday from the Nurse informing me that I'm slightly anemic and needed to start taking iron supplements alongside my prenatals. She also told me that my glucose levels from the test came in high and I needed to come in for another test. This test is the same except they have to take your blood every hour for three hours after you drink the drink and you have to stay in the lobby the whole time. So, not looking forward to the waiting, I showed up this morning. They pricked my finger to check my sugars before starting the test and they were already high. The lab called my doctor to see if he still wanted me to take the test- I guess it can really make you sick if your sugars are high before drinking the glucose drink. He said not to start the test and wanted me upstairs in his office. I went upstairs and the nurse gave me a pamphlet on Gestational Diabetes and a number to a Diabetes Educator so I could call and make an appointment.
Well friends, that's my predicament. It frightens me slightly because of the risks- none of which I feel like listing right now. Also, I'm going to have to basically change my whole diet. I've never been one to count carbs or calories and, admittedly, haven't been very good at regular exercise in the last few years. OF COURSE I will do everything I'm supposed to so I can keep myself and my baby healthy...but it still sucks. I'm sort of glad that I HAVE to exercise now because I've been wanting to...it's just hard to find the time and the motivation. Anyway, I have an appointment on Friday with the Diabetes Educator...we'll see what they have to say. Has anyone out there had experience with Gestational Diabetes? If so, I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Ok...so two days later I am finally posting the promised picture taken today (April 11th). It's blurry again so either I need a new camera, or Love needs to learn how to work ours. (Sorry Love)
Well friends, that's my predicament. It frightens me slightly because of the risks- none of which I feel like listing right now. Also, I'm going to have to basically change my whole diet. I've never been one to count carbs or calories and, admittedly, haven't been very good at regular exercise in the last few years. OF COURSE I will do everything I'm supposed to so I can keep myself and my baby healthy...but it still sucks. I'm sort of glad that I HAVE to exercise now because I've been wanting to...it's just hard to find the time and the motivation. Anyway, I have an appointment on Friday with the Diabetes Educator...we'll see what they have to say. Has anyone out there had experience with Gestational Diabetes? If so, I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Ok...so two days later I am finally posting the promised picture taken today (April 11th). It's blurry again so either I need a new camera, or Love needs to learn how to work ours. (Sorry Love)
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