What do you say?

I've been meaning to post for a while now. I just don't have the words. Well, perhaps I have the words, but I just can't spill them yet, or ever in some cases. What do you say when you're dealing with things beyond your control and you can't talk about them? How do you write when your words are censored? How do you reach out for help, for strength, for comfort, for hope, when you can't share what you're going through? I don't know what to say, friends. Except I'm dealing with both joys and heartaches at the moment. Thrilled one minute and depressed the next. The holiday season is nearly at its peak...and my emotions are undulating. I know I'm worrying you with these statements. You should know: I AM OK. I just need some time. I realize I've asked for time a lot this year. As I've said before, this year has been a rough one. I find myself wondering how I can possibly ask you for anything, when I've given you little to nothing in return? For someone who's been so open with you about everything, I'm having a hard time not letting it out. Unfortunately, some parts are not my stories to tell...and others are too uncertain to share just yet. For now, I only ask for the love and support, prayers, hope and friendship I've counted on from you in the past. I thank you in advance, from the bottom of my heart.