Turn That Frown Upside Down

Today I am smiling after, what I like to call, my “sad day” yesterday. Have you ever awakened and just felt like you were on the verge of tears? Like your nerves are shot, your motivation is gone, and if anyone asks you about it hot tears immediately roll down your cheeks? Well, every so often I have one of those days. “Sad days” are hard to explain to other people- mostly because I usually don’t have any good reason to be sad. Perhaps if I was able to reach way down into my subconscious, I might have figured out why I felt so terrible. Unfortunately, the subconscious is difficult to find unless you know how to hypnotize yourself…

To make matters worse, we had impromptu interviews with our Manager at work yesterday to discuss our progress. Unfortunately, my progress this month is far less than phenomenal. So, of course, I had glistening eyes as I brought up some of the weaknesses and trials I had experienced during the past month. As we discussed what I could try to change to overcome my problems I tried to hide my glassy eyes behind my bangs , thinking it was working pretty well, until he asked me if I had some “stuff” going on. I could feel the tears welling up as I said- in the least undulating voice I could manage- “I’m just having a hard time today.” Can I just say how much I HATE to cry in front of people?

A little background into this man will help a little here: he is always nice, but never reveals anything about himself to us…and we don’t reveal anything to him. I’m not sure he doesn’t want to know, but he’s never been very approachable and I often get the feeling that he just doesn’t care. He doesn’t check on us, we are left to our own motivation and structure in our workday. So, I was a little more than surprised when he told me he knew how I felt, and if I needed a day off, or if there was anything he could do, to let him know. I tried to hide the shock in my face- which, thankfully, had masked the redness that accompanies my tears- thanked him and went back to my cubicle. Once there, I let the tears fall freely, feeling safe in my three little walls.

A few hours later my life-saver friend decided we all needed to go to lunch for her 8 year (wow) anniversary working there. How did she know I needed a break yesterday? It was so nice to get out, eat and laugh. From there, my day got a little better. I was nearly myself by the time I arrived home. I awoke this morning feeling normal- not ecstatic to leave my cozy bed, but normal, with no leaky faucets to be found. So, I hope everyone has a reason to smile today. After all, it is Friday, and the weather is perfect!

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