Ouch

Around 11 monthsof age Zoe had to visit the doctor for yet another illness. At that time I decided to ask the doctor how and when I should begin weaning Zoe to cow's milk if I wanted to be finished breastfeeding around her 1-year mark. The doctor told me to wean her gradually, for example...one feeding per week, until she was completely weaned. She also told me that I could start right away and to try to wean her to a cup since she already uses one for water.
 
Zoe was not fond of the cup idea.

Actually, that's putting it lightly. She absolutely HATED the cup...to the point that it took me a few days to get her drinking water properly again.
 
To counter this reaction we thought we might buy her new cups just for milk. We took her along with us to the store, picked out a cup, and left feeling pretty confident.

No deals. This kid was not weaning to a cup...unless I wanted to take 5 months to stop breastfeeding.
SO, we weaned her to a bottle...fairly easily. It took us 6 weeks. There were a couple feedings that took her longer to give up...mainly breakfast and lunch. (The doctor wasn't thrilled that we went to a bottle...said we'd taken a step backwards. Yeah.)

Admittedly, bedtime still isn't all calm and serene. She went to bed
SCREAMING.BLOODY.MURDER. several nights last week. It's only been just over a week on the night-time feedings though. I think she'll be fine in the next few days.

Now to the point.

Here I was thinking that was the end of it. It's not, my friends...it's the beginning...of the pain.
 
My thought process was that, since I had weaned her gradually over a six week period- and hadn't had much if any pain yet, that my milk would just stop coming in. Well here I sit a week and a half after her last latching and I can't hardly hold her, or hug anyone, or be touched. I sat on my couch for two hours with a heating pad today- trying to sooth a clogged milk duct (pain on top of pain). I called the nurse who said it could be a good two weeks before I get any relief! I tried taking ibuprofen, hoping it might take the edge off...it didn't touch it. I'm to the point where I wonder if I really should have stopped nursing at one year. There were reasons...something to the effect of trying to conceive again soon (in case it takes forever again) and having my body belong to me again for a bit (which is nice, I must say). In any case, here I sit...dreading bed after being awakened by a wrong move several times last night. I hope this is over soon.

Moms...experiences? advice? consolation? Talk amongst yourselves

Happy First Birthday, Zoe!

Tuesday, June 30th, we celebrated Zoe's First Birthday with a few presents and a little family party. We'll be having a larger family and friends party on Sunday in the park. She really enjoyed her first birthday cake:

She has grown in so many ways by leaps and bounds this year. More pictures and updates of the past few months to come. For now, Happy Birthday Zoe! We love you!

All Done!

Zoe is becoming quite the conversationalist!  Here she is after the birthday cake!  (For some reason I couldn't get both videos to work on the same post!  Grr.)

Returning Sheepishly

I know it's been a long silence. I'm happy to report that I'm better...things are better. The troubles are not over, but they have settled for now...enough that I can think of other things. I'm not trying to be cryptic, it's just private. Anyhow, I decided it's high time I get back to writing.

Recently, I started working from home. The first week was extremely overwhelming. I often found myself wondering why I thought it would be a good idea. Suddenly Zoe's naps, that had formerly been my time, became work time and all my rest and house cleaning went out the window. Well, ok, maybe not out the window. If you asked Love he'd say it was pretty clearly strewn about the house...but you get my drift. After the first week I figured out that I could accomplish things when Zoe was awake and still make time to play with her and be attentive, I could ask Love for some "Me time" when he got home, and I could do this. Why? I am now (except for one day a week) a "stay-at-home" Mom. This is something you all know I've been wanting since Zoe was born. It's not quite what I thought it would be, but it is what it is and I couldn't be happier to be home with my sweet baby girl.

Speaking of my sweet baby girl...she is about to be one. You don't have to remind me that I've been a total slacker and haven't posted a monthly update in ages. I promise it's coming. Right now I'm super busy working and trying to soak up the last two weeks of her first year of life. I find myself tearing up some days at the thought of how fast and how much she's grown. Yet I'm so proud to be her Mother...to see her day to day accomplishments...to make her laugh...comfort her sadness...and cheer her on. I'm also trying to plan a little family/ close friends party. This is not as easy as one might think. Any advice on this subject is welcome.

I'm looking forward to a few things. My Sis and her Husband are coming up to visit us on the 4th of July weekend! My Brother is going on a mission to Carlsbad, CA in a little over a month- he got his mission call when I was home for my Little Sis's wedding. I get to go home in a little less than a month to see my family. I'm not thrilled that he'll be gone for two years because I'm really going to miss him...but he's doing an amazing thing and I'm so proud of him.

I know it's not a thorough update, but it's late and I need to hit the sack so I can start again tomorrow. More to come...and thanks for sticking around. Your comments meant a lot to me.

And just because I know a couple people who are dying to see her...an updated picture of Zoe to swoon over. :)

I Know

I've been quiet. I promise to post at least two posts this month.  I know I owe you two months of Zoe updates. :) Anyway, the major thing going on in my life right now...the thing that plauges my thoughts...makes me cry...makes me scared...makes me worry...well I can't talk about it here. So that's why I'm quiet. Please give me some time to sort things out and I promise I'll be back...so don't leave for good. Thanks everyone.

Proof of Zoe's Mobility

Ok, so I admit it. Now that she is finally crawling, she gets into everything, her sleep has been disrupted, and she's not as easy to keep track of...but how cute is that?
Also, we do actually dress her...it's just that most of her videos are done in the morning or at night!

Hello World

I know I haven't been on here in a while. Truthfully I wasn't sure what to write. I'm still not sure. I really should write Zoe's 9 month post...but wonder if that undertaking isn't more than it's worth sometimes. Maybe I need to find a new way to go about it that doesn't create novel posts. Anyhow, you're not getting that one today. I've been thinking a lot lately about life. A couple weeks ago my Grandpa C- my Daddy's Father- passed away. While it wasn't completely unexpected, it felt sudden. Rushed. When my Mom's Daddy- Grandpa L passed away a couple of months ago, I got to say my goodbye to him over the phone...and I was sort of hoping he would leave this life...just so he could be at peace. His health had been slowly deteriorating for so long that, even though we would miss him, we knew it was time for him to go. After the beginning of the year my Grandpa C started going downhill. He has been suffering from Dementia for a few years now. It was hard on all of us- his family- to watch his mind deteriorate. I knew the day would soon come that he would leave us...I just thought I'd have more time. I guess that is the way of many of us in this world. We always think we'll have more time. We keep placing agendas on tomorrow's to do list until we eventually run out of tomorrows. Anyway, the day my Grandpa passed away- March 22nd, I was sad, but he hadn't eaten in days and was completely bed ridden and so I was a bit relieved. On the day of the viewing, I fell apart. It didn't really hit me until I was there that he was gone. I will miss him greatly. I'm comforted by the knowledge that he is in a better place. I'm sure he's up there teasing and joking with our relatives gone before him- the way he did with us growing up. Still, his passing has been harder on me than I thought. I think it has something to do with both of my Grandpas leaving me so close together. I worry about both Grandmas and hope they know how much they are loved and hope they can find comfort now. I suppose with both of my Grandpas I have a bit of regret lingering. I called often, but could have called more. I wish I could have been there more. The more I think about it the more I let these things go. I know that they both know how much I love them. I know I will see them both again. I guess what you could conclude from my ramblings is that I'm missing a couple of wonderful men from my life...and it's caused me to think more about what I'm doing with that life. I'm still not sure other than my role as a wife/ mother/ daughter/ friend. Other than that, I'm still thinking.