I'm sitting here in my room listening to the dishwasher running downstairs,
the breeze and the sounds of cars passing coming through my open window, and the
sweet singing of my little princess- who is supposed to be sleeping- coming from
the other room. I've spent the last few days outside as much as possible,
trying to soak up as much warmth and sunshine as I possibly can. As I sit here,
I'm thinking some of that sunshine has seeped right into my soul. (Some of you
will understand that reference.) Tonight, I'm feeling incredibly blessed.
There are a lot of things going on in my life that are hard. Frustrations
with money, pregnancy pains, how to manage my time, worries about the
future...the list goes on. These things are always floating through my mind.
There are people in my life that have much bigger worries than me, yet I can't
help feeling weighed down by my own burdens. Too often I find myself just
trying to get through until some future event. My days are passing me by. With
that passage of time I am getting closer to meeting this new little angel who is
presently kicking around in my belly. With that passage of time Zoe gets closer
and closer to being two.
The past few days I have lowered my expectations of what a clean house is,
I've left things for another day, I've turned off the television and gone
outside. We have taken walks, blown bubbles, spent time with friends, gone to
the park, watered the plants, collected rocks, been sunburned, and just sat on
the porch enjoying the weather. This freedom has allowed my mind to put away
the worries and live a little more in the moment. Tonight I let Zoe sing me two
songs before bed after I had already sang her three. We read a few more books
than we normally do. She hugged me five times on each side before she would let
me put her down. I wasn't rushing to get downstairs and watch whatever was on.
I wasn't in a hurry to get her to bed even though it was past bedtime. I just
let the bedtime routine play on as it wanted and tried to soak up each sweet
moment that I had with my first born. It was magical.
Love works so hard all day every day. Most of the time he comes home, we eat
dinner, and we veg on the couch until bedtime. Lately, though, he's been coming
home, changing and coming outside to play basketball with Zoe and the neighbor
kids. Or sitting on the porch and talking to me or to our friends. He's busier
when warm weather comes going to softball games, golfing, or basketball on
Saturday mornings. Still he finds time to do the dishes and take out the trash
to help me out just a little.
I've started yoga (again) and made sure to do something active everyday. I
feel like this has let me ease up, enjoy life as it is now, and make smarter
choices with what I put in my body- most of the time. Being more active seems
to help me to be stronger, but it also adds to my pregnancy pains and that is
hard, but I feel like it will be better for me (and for Paige) during delivery
and as I recover. I make it a point to read (even if it's not much) every day
and have been enjoying having a bit of "me" time. I feel successful in my work
and that is a great blessing after many slow months.
In general, I feel happy. No matter the difficulties we face and the
challenges that lie ahead for us, I know that somehow we'll be OK. I know
everything will work out. I need to remember that life isn't about a perfectly
clean house. Maybe it's about tiny hands collecting rocks and playing in the
dirt. Maybe it's about relaxing and enjoying the movements of my second child.
Perhaps it's about spending quality time with the love of my life. Or having
daily porch conversations with friends. Something about the cold weather makes
me forget all these things. I'm so grateful for the sunshine up above and all
the little rays of sunshine in my life that fill me up and make me whole. I
thank my Heavenly Father, publicly, at this moment for the blessing that is my
life.
Warm Weather
Something about sunshine and warm weather makes me care less about cleaning
or playing on the computer and care more about playing and soaking up the
warmth! This is what we've been up to since I last posted:
Zoe's learning to dress (and, unfortunately, undress) herself
We had a little egg coloring party at our house the day before Easter
Zoe thought blue fingers might be fun
Zoe's reaction to seeing her Easter basket
Easter spoils
Success with pigtails!
Zoe LOVES to collect rocks
We've been to the park a few times
Zoe loves to swing. She says, "Again?", over and over and when we leave she can't stop telling me how much fun she had. She also really likes the slide.
Park Princess
Zoe likes to prop frog up to sit with her when she plays the piano
As you can see, we've had a fun couple of weeks so I hope you'll forgive my absence. Also, while I was away, we chose to name baby number two: Paige Alexis. I'm glad to finally have a name for her! So far the pregnancy seems to be going fine, though the warm weather has brought on a bit of early swelling and I'm starting to really "feel" pregnant, which makes getting through the day a bit more difficult but still manageable. Paige is definitely stretching and kicking her legs as much as she can. I'm now 23 weeks and 1 day into this pregnancy- it seems to be going so much faster this time around. Zoe is starting to grasp that there is a baby in there...at least I think so. She likes to kiss my tummy and she's felt Paige kick a couple times. I'm not sure that she knows what it actually was, but she was sure wide-eyed when she felt the movement. I'm enjoying all these sweet moments.
Zoe's learning to dress (and, unfortunately, undress) herself
We had a little egg coloring party at our house the day before Easter
Zoe thought blue fingers might be fun
Zoe's reaction to seeing her Easter basket
Easter spoils
Success with pigtails!
Zoe LOVES to collect rocks
We've been to the park a few times
Zoe loves to swing. She says, "Again?", over and over and when we leave she can't stop telling me how much fun she had. She also really likes the slide.
Park Princess
Zoe likes to prop frog up to sit with her when she plays the piano
As you can see, we've had a fun couple of weeks so I hope you'll forgive my absence. Also, while I was away, we chose to name baby number two: Paige Alexis. I'm glad to finally have a name for her! So far the pregnancy seems to be going fine, though the warm weather has brought on a bit of early swelling and I'm starting to really "feel" pregnant, which makes getting through the day a bit more difficult but still manageable. Paige is definitely stretching and kicking her legs as much as she can. I'm now 23 weeks and 1 day into this pregnancy- it seems to be going so much faster this time around. Zoe is starting to grasp that there is a baby in there...at least I think so. She likes to kiss my tummy and she's felt Paige kick a couple times. I'm not sure that she knows what it actually was, but she was sure wide-eyed when she felt the movement. I'm enjoying all these sweet moments.
It's a...
GIRL! We must have a knack for making girls. We're excited for Zoe to have
a sister/ playmate and also a little thrilled that we're already fairly prepared
with girl-type items. Now we just have to try to figure out what to name
her...and soon! Here are some pictures:
Her Face, you can see her chin right in the middle and her eye-sockets to the right
Profile picture: love her cute little nose!
Her feet, so cute!
Her Face, you can see her chin right in the middle and her eye-sockets to the right
Profile picture: love her cute little nose!
Her feet, so cute!
20 Months
Dear Zoe,
It's been too long since I got on here and tried to write down everything
that amazes me about you. In the last seven months you've grown so much in so
many ways, it's hard to believe sometimes. Your vocabulary never ceases to
amaze me. I love our conversations and that you can tell me what you
want/need. When you spit out sentences like "I hurt my finger" and "Drop in on
the floor"- or even two word phrases like, "diaper change", "wash hands",
"hold/carry you" and "get up"- I sometimes feel like I need to pick my mouth up
off the floor.
You're like a little sponge, absorbing everything around you...and you'll repeat anything you hear. You've learned to count to 16 all by yourself and can sing most of the alphabet without help. You're so close to learning "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and you've learned most of it from listening to the pre-recorded card you received from us for Valentine's Day. I love to hear you sing, especially, "Row, Row, Row Your Boat." You always ask about where family members are and when you'll get to see them next. You love to color and will come and ask me for crayons or markers- whichever you're feeling will be better that day. Last time I updated you hadn't started walking yet. Now you're running and you and I take walks as often as weather permits- you love to go outside, or go to the library and get books. Your love of reading melts my heart. I hope you continue to love reading as it will always be something you and I will share.
You bring so much laughter to our family. A few weeks ago, I got frustrated with you and sternly said, "Zoe!" and you followed swiftly with, "Driving me crazy!"- a phrase I guess I use too often. I was instantly laughing and all was well. It is also quite amusing to you when Dad and I laugh. When we do you always say, "Funny" or "Awesome!"- which only makes us laugh harder. You love your bunny, your frog and your blanket. All of which you have to be holding tightly as you drift off to sleep. When you wake up I'll hear you giggling in the other room. I'll watch as you hold bunny close to you and have a little conversation. You'll laugh and laugh and say, "Bunny silly!" You swear the pillsbury dough boy is a bunny, and will not be swayed from this belief. You love music, especially if it has a good beat and will move your little body and say "dance, dance" at every opportunity. You'll also ask often to play the piano. You love belly buttons and always have to know where they are. You love to sit on your new potty, and you've even "gone" a few times!
You are my little helper as you put the wet clothes in the dryer for me, sweep the floor, wipe down surfaces, pick up your toys, and the always unsettling bringing half full cups off the table or glass plates from the dishwasher to me. Every time you help you say, "thank you Zoe" because that's what I always say. Your obsession of the moment is flags. Everywhere we go you know where all the flags are located and will shout with excitement, "FLAGS!!!" as we pass them by. Your favorite is the American Flag and I hope your love of flags will evolve to a great love of this country as you grow older.
You are a very mellow child, but you definitely have a mind of your own. Recently, you've been really trying to test your boundaries to see just how much you can get away with. It's been a real struggle for me to remain calm and realize that you're just acting your age. It's hard to see you crying and upset when you want something you can't have now, or sometimes ever. It's amazing how much some things mean to you. Yet, I know that you're learning some very important lessons from your testing and I will continue to be firm because I love you...and because the world is firm and you have to learn there are always consequences to your actions and you can't always get what you want.
Mostly, you behave very well. You have very good manners, which we do take credit for teaching you, but know you've also learned your "greetings" and your "please's" and "thank you's" from all the other wonderful people in your life. You are very loving, usually giving hugs and kisses when asked and sometimes all on your own. You can say, "I love you" and say it often, usually going through the list of people that love you one by one. At night, after pajamas and a story, we'll turn out the light and you will lay yourself in my arms and say, "Sweetheart?" and Dad or I will sing "Goodnight Sweetheart" (something Daddy started) to you before we get our kisses and hugs and you lie down in bed. This is my favorite part of the day as it is the only time you'll be still and let me hold you like the little baby you once were.
While your milestones constantly amaze me, it's been a little difficult for me to watch you grow up so fast. I can't believe how quickly the time goes. It won't be much longer until you're not the only little person in this house. It makes me want to spend every waking moment soaking you up before I have to share my attention. Our lives are going to change drastically when the new baby comes. I think you might have a hard time adjusting to sharing the spotlight. At the same time, you are kind and you love babies. I know you will adjust and we will all find our new place in this family. I think, as you grow older, you'll come to enjoy having a playmate. Though you'll probably fight, I'm excited for you to experience a love only felt between siblings. You'll learn to share, you'll learn kindness, you'll learn parenting skills, protectiveness, how to respect your peers, service and selflessness.
These lessons will come in handy to you in your life, not to mention the prospect of a life-long friend. I want you to know there will be times that I can't pay attention to you, that you'll want to play when I'm nursing, that you'll be jealous of this new person. When you're feeling upset know that I cherish you. You are my first born, the miracle that brought me out of my grief, my poor guinea pig as I try to figure out parenthood, and the object of a love I didn't know I was capable of until they put you in my arms for the first time. I'm so grateful to have you in my life. I hope you always know that.
Love,
Mama
You're like a little sponge, absorbing everything around you...and you'll repeat anything you hear. You've learned to count to 16 all by yourself and can sing most of the alphabet without help. You're so close to learning "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and you've learned most of it from listening to the pre-recorded card you received from us for Valentine's Day. I love to hear you sing, especially, "Row, Row, Row Your Boat." You always ask about where family members are and when you'll get to see them next. You love to color and will come and ask me for crayons or markers- whichever you're feeling will be better that day. Last time I updated you hadn't started walking yet. Now you're running and you and I take walks as often as weather permits- you love to go outside, or go to the library and get books. Your love of reading melts my heart. I hope you continue to love reading as it will always be something you and I will share.
You bring so much laughter to our family. A few weeks ago, I got frustrated with you and sternly said, "Zoe!" and you followed swiftly with, "Driving me crazy!"- a phrase I guess I use too often. I was instantly laughing and all was well. It is also quite amusing to you when Dad and I laugh. When we do you always say, "Funny" or "Awesome!"- which only makes us laugh harder. You love your bunny, your frog and your blanket. All of which you have to be holding tightly as you drift off to sleep. When you wake up I'll hear you giggling in the other room. I'll watch as you hold bunny close to you and have a little conversation. You'll laugh and laugh and say, "Bunny silly!" You swear the pillsbury dough boy is a bunny, and will not be swayed from this belief. You love music, especially if it has a good beat and will move your little body and say "dance, dance" at every opportunity. You'll also ask often to play the piano. You love belly buttons and always have to know where they are. You love to sit on your new potty, and you've even "gone" a few times!
You are my little helper as you put the wet clothes in the dryer for me, sweep the floor, wipe down surfaces, pick up your toys, and the always unsettling bringing half full cups off the table or glass plates from the dishwasher to me. Every time you help you say, "thank you Zoe" because that's what I always say. Your obsession of the moment is flags. Everywhere we go you know where all the flags are located and will shout with excitement, "FLAGS!!!" as we pass them by. Your favorite is the American Flag and I hope your love of flags will evolve to a great love of this country as you grow older.
You are a very mellow child, but you definitely have a mind of your own. Recently, you've been really trying to test your boundaries to see just how much you can get away with. It's been a real struggle for me to remain calm and realize that you're just acting your age. It's hard to see you crying and upset when you want something you can't have now, or sometimes ever. It's amazing how much some things mean to you. Yet, I know that you're learning some very important lessons from your testing and I will continue to be firm because I love you...and because the world is firm and you have to learn there are always consequences to your actions and you can't always get what you want.
Mostly, you behave very well. You have very good manners, which we do take credit for teaching you, but know you've also learned your "greetings" and your "please's" and "thank you's" from all the other wonderful people in your life. You are very loving, usually giving hugs and kisses when asked and sometimes all on your own. You can say, "I love you" and say it often, usually going through the list of people that love you one by one. At night, after pajamas and a story, we'll turn out the light and you will lay yourself in my arms and say, "Sweetheart?" and Dad or I will sing "Goodnight Sweetheart" (something Daddy started) to you before we get our kisses and hugs and you lie down in bed. This is my favorite part of the day as it is the only time you'll be still and let me hold you like the little baby you once were.
While your milestones constantly amaze me, it's been a little difficult for me to watch you grow up so fast. I can't believe how quickly the time goes. It won't be much longer until you're not the only little person in this house. It makes me want to spend every waking moment soaking you up before I have to share my attention. Our lives are going to change drastically when the new baby comes. I think you might have a hard time adjusting to sharing the spotlight. At the same time, you are kind and you love babies. I know you will adjust and we will all find our new place in this family. I think, as you grow older, you'll come to enjoy having a playmate. Though you'll probably fight, I'm excited for you to experience a love only felt between siblings. You'll learn to share, you'll learn kindness, you'll learn parenting skills, protectiveness, how to respect your peers, service and selflessness.
These lessons will come in handy to you in your life, not to mention the prospect of a life-long friend. I want you to know there will be times that I can't pay attention to you, that you'll want to play when I'm nursing, that you'll be jealous of this new person. When you're feeling upset know that I cherish you. You are my first born, the miracle that brought me out of my grief, my poor guinea pig as I try to figure out parenthood, and the object of a love I didn't know I was capable of until they put you in my arms for the first time. I'm so grateful to have you in my life. I hope you always know that.
Love,
Mama
Our House
Okay, so half our house. I've been promising these photos for more than a
year! I took these back in November just before I changed the decor to
Christmas. I meant to post them then but it just never happened. Here is the
downstairs:
Kitchen
Living Room- the cut-out above the couch looks into the kitchen
Dining Room- opposite the living room. The front door just just to the right.
I'll try and post upstairs pictures soon!
Kitchen
Living Room- the cut-out above the couch looks into the kitchen
Dining Room- opposite the living room. The front door just just to the right.
I'll try and post upstairs pictures soon!
Christmas 2009
The ridiculously late posting of these photos makes me so embarrassed I
almost don't want to post them... but here we go. We spent Christmas in NM with
my family. Nearly two weeks of relaxation and good company. We had a great
time. Here are a few pictures of Christmas morning.
And a couple more from that trip:
Bathtime fun with Aunt N.
She's feeling a need for speed
The End of 2009.
And a couple more from that trip:
Bathtime fun with Aunt N.
She's feeling a need for speed
The End of 2009.
Joy
My favorite thing about pregnancy is feeling the baby move. In fact, it was
the one thing I really missed when Zoe was born. It was so awesome to meet her
and hold her and kiss her cheeks, but I really missed feeling her move. I'm
happy to report that as of yesterday I can feel, not just flutters, but little
tiny baby kicks from baby #2. So amazing!
P.S. I know my posts have been about pregnancy a lot lately. I am working on a couple other things to come soon.
P.S. I know my posts have been about pregnancy a lot lately. I am working on a couple other things to come soon.
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