To be honest I don't really know what I'm going to write about as I sit down here in front of my computer. I'm coming back to you after a break caused by a surprise visit from my sister and her little family. My last couple weeks were spent soaking in every second of them being here and getting to know my newest niece who was only six weeks old when they got here. They have only been gone a few days and I already miss them fiercely.
I just erased three paragraphs of nonsense and complaining about this funk I'm in. Instead of going into all the details about how I feel right now and why, I think I would rather just try to get myself out of it.
I have GOT to get rid of this feeling of hopelessness!
If I don't I really will NEVER get back on track in my journey to health. Or to anywhere else, really.
So, as I type this, I'm going to think of 10 good things I did today and hope they outweigh the crappy eating and no exercise I've been going through (among other things) the last few weeks.
1. Held Paige on our couch all morning while she writhed around uncomfortably, crying from her fever and stomach bug. Did my best to comfort her and give her the care she needed to feel better.
2. Got out of bed and got my work done this morning.
3. Praised my three-year-old for all her help, good behavior, and patience as her sick sister threw a wrench in our plans for the day.
4. Had the intention of making today a fun day with my girls and not focusing on my house. Zoe and I picked an activity to do and everything. I owe her one tomorrow.
5. Cut out Zoe's tiny, detailed paper dolls so she could play with them.
6. Got through my laundry folding quickly so I could sit down and blog/ hang out with Matt and talk while he plays his video game this evening.
7. Drank all my water for the day.
8. Read my scriptures.
9. Gushed to my friend about the beautiful gift Matt bought me for our Anniversary and how amazing he's been lately. (He's been extra amazing.) And now I've gushed to you guys!
10. Finally sat down and blogged, even though I didn't feel like it because I didn't feel like I had anything good or important to say.
Wow, you guys.
I actually feel a lot better.
Not like I'm cured of the funk, but definitely better. You wouldn't believe how hard it was for me to think of good things I did. Amazing how hard I am on myself. I literally stared at the computer screen, after writing the first one, for a good five minutes.
Maybe the answer to beginning to love myself is learning to recognize the good that I've done.
That's a really new concept for my perfectionist self. Off to ponder.
Thanks for being my sounding board. I know you dear, sweet people that come here don't really like to participate in these little experiments of mine, but I truly hope you will this time. It was enough to put a smile on my face after a rough couple of days. Maybe it will be for you too! I would love for you to join me. It doesn't have to be 10, but think of at least one good thing you did today or within the last week and share it with me. I know I'm not the only one with self love issues, and I know I'm not the only one who is in a funk or needs motivation, so please join in. You can write your own post and leave me the link, or just leave your good thing(s) in the comments. Thanks, people.