It’s been nearly five years since my last post. I feel a little sheepish saying that. I’ve kept this blog up and running, always intending to get on here and write, but intentions don’t get you far unless you turn them into actions. Clearly, writing hasn’t been top priority for a while. So much has changed in five years. My tiny girls are turning into young women, my work has become a higher priority, fitness is a favored hobby, Matt and I continue to grow and evolve and love each other more than ever. Despite the pandemic and the countless issues surrounding us, my little life is good.
On the other hand, so much is the same. I still wrestle with the ways I spend my time. Am I wasting too much time? Do I have to be an athlete OR a musician? Am I even really an athlete? Am I a magician if I rarely use my instruments? Can I still be considered a book lover if I only managed to read 16 books last year? What am I actually SUPPOSED to be doing with this life?
I created this blog almost a decade ago to start to answer these questions on how to find balance and I’m sad to report that I still haven’t found it. One thing I have learned over this past decade is that maybe equipoise isn’t so much the end game, but the figuring out how best to play the game of life. We all hope we can reach the end of our lives and say we lived them well. Do I think I am living the life I am supposed to? I don’t know yet, but it has definitely been a wild ride, a grand adventure, a sometimes mundane, sometimes incredibly painful, but often wonderful experience.
This year, my word is “intentional”. I chose it because, despite the fact that I don’t have everything figured out, I can be intentional with the moments I create each minute, hour, day, week month and so on. I don’t think I’ll reach the end of this year having lived every moment to the fullest. I intend to focus more on the intentions behind my thoughts, my actions, my time with the people I love, finding space and stillness, and in cultivating moments I will treasure.
I truly believe that the little things we do add up. One of my intentions is to do more things I truly love, like writing. Even if it is done in carved-out time while driving to get tacos through the drive through because we can’t eat inside, or stolen moments in the carpool lane, or after finally finishing an hour of brushing out the dog. If you choose to follow along, I welcome you. Just know that this will be a space of reflection and whatever thoughts tumble out of this head of mine, that never seems to stop. Excited to see what I can create from this year of intentional moments.